Tardis Registration Number: 221B
pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

#Excellent customer service

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.
Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

pivotalwolf:

anorie:

lotrlockedwhovian:

baara:

the lady behind the counter asked how much whipped cream I wanted and I asked for a shit ton and then she came back with this

We now know the exact amount of shit ton, thank you for your contribution

I used to work at Dunkin and I swear you would do things like this on peoples ridiculous requests and it either got a chuckle and a thank you… Or they bitched you out for being a smart ass.

Example: one time a dude asked for heavy cream so my cashier asked how white they wanted the coffee and they said make it purple. So I went to the decoration area and got flavorless food dye and made it purple. Never had a dude laugh harder in my life

chasexjackson:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:


sparseparsley:

swing-set-in-december:

regular-lord-joesus:

kummersaurus:

crying because 50 shades of grey



fifty shades of awful



JUST SAY IT

50 Shades is a lot more interesting if you convince yourself that “there” means “my feet”



Ew. My mom read this horrible smut. Poor her

chasexjackson:

worthyourweightinfanfiction:

sparseparsley:

swing-set-in-december:

regular-lord-joesus:

kummersaurus:

crying because 50 shades of grey

image

fifty shades of awful

image

JUST SAY IT

50 Shades is a lot more interesting if you convince yourself that “there” means “my feet”

Ew. My mom read this horrible smut. Poor her

ruinedchildhood:

when you say “bless you” to someone before they actually sneeze

image

daeneryus:

shutupaubrey:

princesschloepea:

life tip whatever dumb ass name you get siri to call you is what your iphone automatically signs your emails as. i have been applying to jobs for 2 months as queef.

image

#OH MY GOD OH GMY GOD OH MY GOD NO N ONO NO NO NO NO NO NOOOOOOOOO #HOLY SHIT #I HAVE BEEN APPLYING TO JOBS AS ANAL DESTROYER

13 things my uncle told me before he died:
not everyone has the blessing to understand sadness
when waiting at the bus stop, it’s okay to smoke cigarettes
never touch anyone else’s clothes at the laundromat
it’s okay to miss the people who were bullets to you
when your grandmother asks you how you are, be honest
never be afraid to say “no” even after you’ve said “yes”
if someone tells you graffiti isn’t art, prove them wrong
remember people by their eye color not their clothes
you’re allowed to like dark chocolate with tangerines
don’t lie that you don’t have a lighter when you really do
turn your phone off every once in a while and find the moon
if you want a tattoo, don’t let anyone tell you not to get it
if you ever find yourself at the graveyard, read the names

(poems from my uncles grave)

Yesyesyesyesyesyed

(via ssweet-dispositionn)

xv7:

y’all r gettin way too accurate with these it’s scaring me

xv7:

y’all r gettin way too accurate with these it’s scaring me

raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars
bitch i will actively be gay for a year

raybucho:

eruditetyro:

pretend

a trillion motherfucking dollars

bitch i will actively be gay for a year

x

smithsonienne:

sparrowsavvy:

washisms:

#are you serious #sometimes you look like a foot #and sometimes you look like a god

^most accurate tag I have ever seen

i guess you could say he’s pretty
…enigmattic

smithsonienne:

sparrowsavvy:

washisms:

#are you serious #sometimes you look like a foot #and sometimes you look like a god

^most accurate tag I have ever seen

i guess you could say he’s pretty

enigmattic

image

dosopod:

“you don’t look depressed though”

oh yeah sorry i forgot to bring my literal dark cloud with me today

darlinghogwarts:

Muggleborns gifting their pureblood friends crocs as a joke, and telling them it’s “the highest quality of shoes muggles can make”. Purebloods wearing crocs when they go out into the muggle world, smugly thinking that people are staring because they admire the style and fashion. Lily Evans doing this to James Potter. Harry and Hermione doing this to Ron. 

todayabook:

July 31—Happy Birthday, J.K. Rowling!
Enough said!

todayabook:

July 31—Happy Birthday, J.K. Rowling!

Enough said!

tyrannosaurme:

#DOES NATHAN FILLION DO ANYTHING ELSE BUT BE BITTER ABOUT FIREFLY